he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
