Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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