I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You are the jesus of drinking
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
