Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
