We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
