I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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