Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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