Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think I am morally bankrupt
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
