I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
