don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
