these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
