he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
