Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
