do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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