just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
