I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
