We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
