Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
