Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
