That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
