actually, I'm a sock model
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
