I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We had sex on a dog bed..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
