I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
