2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
