Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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