id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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