She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
