Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize