Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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