he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
