She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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