My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
