Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
