I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize