An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
