Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My balls are so social today.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
