My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
North Korea, Best Korea!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
