he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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