Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize