he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
