My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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