It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My bed smells like the plague
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
