There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize