Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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