i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
