Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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