why do cheetos always look like penises
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
