she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
