Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
