Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
