More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
