Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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