I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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