I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
