please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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