If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
