Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
