I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
NoShamevember. You game?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
