it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
