i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize