I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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