After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
BRING THE BAGELS
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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