Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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