1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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