Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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